A Letter to Brayson 7 months old

Dear Brayson,
I wanted to write you this letter b/c I want you to know just how much I love you! Before becoming your mommy I had visions of what it would be like to be a mother. I can say that most of those visions aren't what I had expected or thought it would be like. It is so much more. The love I feel for you is sometimes overwhelming. Every night when I feed you your bottle before putting you to bed I pray to God and thank Him so very much for letting me be your mommy and for blessing me with the most amazing gift and blessing I could have ever asked for. I look at you as you fall asleep in my arms and my heart just grows bigger and I can just feel my love growing. I look at your little face full on innocence and beauty and I know there is absolutely no place on this earth I would rather be than holding you in my arms! When you eat your night time bottle you and I play with our hands together and it is something I love to do! During the day I will look at you and you will look back at me and you give me a smile that just melts me! Every morning when I go in your room to get you up you stare up at me and give me a huge smile and I know that no matter what happens that day, that I have you and your love and it will be good! You don't even have to say that you love me but I can tell by the way that you look at me that you do! I also know that when you are in my arms you feel safe and happy and that I am your protector and always will be! You have made me a mommy the thing I always wanted to be in my life and I just love you so very much! I am so excited that I get to spend the rest of my life knowing and loving you. I know that every night when I close my eyes that my heart will be fuller than it was the day before! I always wondered why it took us so long to get pregnant or why we had to go through what we did, but now looking back I wouldn't change a thing b/c if we did I wouldn't have you. I would have waited a million years if it meant I got to be your mommy! I am looking forward to our life with you growing up and seeing what kind of man you will become! I know that no matter what you choose to do and where you will go that your daddy and me will support you every step of the way!! Speaking of your daddy I just have to add a few things about him too. Your daddy loves you so much too!! He looks at you with awe and amazement on his face all the time! Sometimes he will look at you and get tears in his eyes b/c he loves you so much! We are always amazed by the new things you do but your daddy is your biggest fan! He's always cheering you on and just loves to see you doing new things! He was meant to be a daddy in his life... he was meant to be your daddy! Sometimes I can't decide who to watch you or him b/c I love seeing the love in his eyes he has for you!! Anyway, sweet boy, I want you to know how absolutely loved you are and how much better our lives are for you being in it!! I promise for the rest of your life you will always be so loved and the apple of our eyes!! I must also add that your grandparents are quite smitten with you too! They come over just to see you and they love you so much! You are a very lucky little boy!

This is what you are doing now in your life:

On your 6 month Birthday you learned how to roll from your back to your belly. Since that day its been hard to keep you on your back. You have started to roll in your sleep and now sleep on your belly most nights. You will wake up once a night and have mommy come in and roll you over to your back, but then just roll right back over to your belly. When you play on the floor you have started to crawl backwards and will go all over the place. I don't think you are very far off from crawling. You are now starting to sit for long periods of time without assistance. You spend hours a day jumping in your jumper and you love it! You are eating 4 bottles a day with 8 oz each and you eat a mixed fruit and a mixed veggie a day! You love getting out of the house and are quite the ladies man! You make peoples day all the time just by giving them one of your beautiful smiles! You like to "babble" and I think you are going to be very much like your daddy! You can't sit still and we are in for it when you do get mobile! You eat your last bottle at 10pm and usually wake up anytime between 9am and 10am (nice for your mommy)! Everyday, you learn something new and it is fascinating! You love to laugh at your daddy for anything! You laughed the hardest you have laughed at your daddy dropping the pillow on the ground! You are a very happy baby!! You are going to the dr. today but when we weighed you on our scale you weighed over 19lbs so we will see!! You are chubby and we love it! You have the cutest cheeks and they were made for kissing! You do not have any teeth yet! We shall see what the next month brings but I'm sure it will be very exciting and you will learn even more! Your nicknames are piglet, Bray Bray and Bray boo!! I love you!!

Love,
Mommy

Brayson's 2 months old!!

After Danny had been back to work for a week he received news that they were switching him to evening shift. This was like our worst nightmare because it has to be the worst shift 2pm until 11pm. So he is pretty much gone all day. He tried everything but couldn't get it worked out and had to work this shift. I think this depressed both of us a lot. We didn't get to spend a lot of time together now. We did work it out that he would come home and have baby duty until the 2 am feeding. At this point we started to let Brayson wake us up when he was ready to eat instead of being on a schedule now that he was gaining weight properly. Although, this worked out nice in letting me get some sleep it meant that Danny was going to sleep in and he usually didn't get up until after 11 or 11:30 and then only had a little while to spend with us before leaving for work. 

We did schedule Brayson's newborn photo shoot now that he was more of the size of a newborn. We did the shoot in my parents backyard. During the shoot Bray was naked and he started pooping and then he was peeing everywhere. It was so funny!! One of my dad's favorite moments was that he peed when he was lying on Danny's Ohio State jersey! When Brayson hit his due date of July 27th he was really arching and starting to spit up and sometimes projectile vomit. This was quite concerning to me. Also, on Brayson's due date Danny and I had our 1st date since he was born. We let my parents keep him overnight for the 1st time. We were nervous and I'm sure they were too! We went to dinner and then a movie and then stopped by to see him but we did leave him there and had a night to our self and sleep haha! When he was about 7 weeks old his projectile vomiting got really bad and scary to me so my mom and me took him to the Dr. They told us that he had acid reflux and gave us zantac to try. I was happy to get something to try and hopefully make my baby feel better. He was starting to be more awake now and a little more interactive but still mostly just sleeping. But now when he was awake he was crying a lot I think from the reflux. I might be in for a rough road with this reflux thing :( but we will see.

Brayson 1 month

It's been a while since I posted but I'm going to try and remember things about each month of his life so far. It's been hard to remember to do this now that he is here and occupying my time!

Brayson's 1st month of life was pretty uneventful after his 5 day NICU stay and my surgery. B/c he was premature he mostly just ate, slept and pooped for the 1st month. He didn't really do much. We did take him up to the lake for the 4th of July and he did great! Danny stayed home with us for his 1st month of life and I am so grateful that he did! Once we decided that formula feeding Brayson was the best and really only option for us we fell into a nice little routine. Danny would stay up with Bray until after his 2 am feeding so he took the 11pm and 2am feedings and I would go to bed around 10. Then I would set my alarm for the 5am and 8am feedings. Bray mostly slept in his swing and then I would come and switch spots on the couch with Danny. It was so nice that he was able to do those feedings and bond with Brayson. It was also so nice for me to be able to actually get some good sleep. Danny can sleep through anything but me I wake up to a pen dropping on the floor. Well Brayson made a bunch of noises that is normal for a newborn. He would grunt and just was pretty noisy and then when hew was quite I would get scared and jump up to make sure he was okay. I'm sure this is pretty typical for a new mom. The day before Brayson's 1 month birthday Danny went back to work. I was so nervous and scared to be all by myself with the baby but we made it! At Brayson's 1 month Dr. appt. he weighed 7lbs and 6oz. So he was really starting to put on the weight and really made me happy with the decision to formula feed with the extra calorie preemie formula.